Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #world

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People

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have different views i

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show examples

the question w

hether

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of whether

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that h

uman

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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would be more dependent or independent in t

he m

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apply

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odern s

ociaty.

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society

This

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essay will d

icuss

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discuss

both arguments and present my opinion. On the one hand, it is reasonable that

people

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believe they will rely on each o

thers

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other

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in the future. The

first

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reason is globalization which requires us to promote interactions between regions and countries around the world.

This

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means they need to have t

eam-work

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teamwork

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experience in order to complete international jobs.

Secondly

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, nowadays,

people

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tend to work more than in the past because they are ambitious to improve the quality of their life.

Therefore

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, they have to receive supports from their family.

For example

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, if parents have a

full-time jobs,

Correct the article-noun agreement

a full-time job

full-time jobs

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their children are usually taken care of by the grandparents.

On the other hand

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, many

people

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think that we will be less dependent in modern life and I support

this

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idea. Thank t

o t

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apply

show examples

echnological development,

people

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can take advantage of new innovations like the Internet.

For instance

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, we can work from every p

laces

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place

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in the world via the Internet, to prepare

a c

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for a

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onference b

ecome

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to become

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simple while using call video platform.

Additionally

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, new g

enaration

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generation

particularly is allowed to choose what their favour, many young decide to live away from home, even study in the foreign. As the result, they can be independent and self-confident in t

he d

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apply

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aily life. To conclude, there are many viewpoints about the dependent in the future world. I personally believe that

people

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will be less reliant i

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the era of technology.

Submitted by Andy on Sat Nov 20 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalization
technological advancements
collective action
digital evolution
minimal reliance
direct interaction
empowered
access to technology
societal expectations
personal choice
leverage

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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The percentage of overweight children in westrn society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.

To what extent do you agree that the men and women should do the same job as each other.