Nowadays,some individuals prefer to take criminals to prison,and others tend to provide some education and job practices.From my own perspective,I agree with part of the point of view,and I will demonstrate the reasons.

Nowadays, some individuals prefer to take
criminals
to
prison
, and others tend to provide some education and job training. From my own perspective, I agree with part of
this
point of view, and I will demonstrate the reasons. One possible approach is sending
criminals
to
prisons
. First of all, it is convenient for the staff to integrate control, whether work or rest
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
based on a settled schedule, to develop healthy habits and improve the quality of life.
Secondly
, there are a variety of
criminals
, and categorizing them into diverse zones allows for varied punishments.
For instance
, in China, there are three kinds of
prisons
: a low level of alert for people who stole or engaged in drunken driving, and so on; a middle level for
criminals
who can leave
prison
in less than 15 years; and a high level for those facing more than 15 years or life imprisonment.
This
allows for the management of the assorts of crime and
criminals
' performance in
prisons
.
Otherwise
, imprisoning
criminals
can alert other citizens to obey the rules; individuals who are against the law will be punished
consequently
, and celebrities are no exception.
Overall
, imprisoning
criminals
has many advantages.
However
, some
criminals
who were in middle- or high-level alert
prisons
are out of touch with society for too long, and when they leave
prison
, they will have a high unemployment rate. Without stabilized income, they will potentially commit crimes again. So, the other alternative approach is,
first,
to carry out some relevant classes in
prison
;
for example
,
teach
Fix the infinitive
to teach
show examples
them some laws and the significance of following the rules. Let them regulate their own
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Besides
,
this
involves some technical education. Each of them must practice one or two skills
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that when they return to society they will have a matching career to find their own value.
Consequently
, it is valuable to provide some education for
criminals
. To sum it up, there are many benefits to putting
criminals
in
prison
and
also
letting them learn some rules and skills. Making some combination of the two approaches will contribute to a healthy and peaceful society;
moreover
, we will have a bright future.
Submitted by ysh424 on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses all parts of the task. However, ensure that each of your main ideas is fully developed. Consider expanding your points further for a more comprehensive response.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is logically organized, using clear transitional phrases can further enhance the coherence of your argument. Ensure smooth flow between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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