Nowadays,some individuals prefer to take criminals to prison,and others tend to provide some education and job practices.From my own perspective,I agree with part of the point of view,and I will demonstrate the reasons.

#individuals #criminals #prison #education #job #practices #perspective #part #point

Nowadays, some individuals prefer to take

criminals

prison

, and others tend to provide some education and job training. From my own perspective, I agree with part of

this

point of view, and I will demonstrate the reasons. One possible approach is sending

criminals

prisons

. First of all, it is convenient for the staff to integrate control, whether work or rest

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

based on a settled schedule, to develop healthy habits and improve the quality of life.

Secondly

, there are a variety of

criminals

, and categorizing them into diverse zones allows for varied punishments.

For instance

, in China, there are three kinds of

prisons

: a low level of alert for people who stole or engaged in drunken driving, and so on; a middle level for

criminals

who can leave

prison

in less than 15 years; and a high level for those facing more than 15 years or life imprisonment.

This

allows for the management of the assorts of crime and

criminals

' performance in

prisons

Otherwise

, imprisoning

criminals

can alert other citizens to obey the rules; individuals who are against the law will be punished

consequently

, and celebrities are no exception.

Overall

, imprisoning

criminals

has many advantages.

However

, some

criminals

who were in middle- or high-level alert

prisons

are out of touch with society for too long, and when they leave

prison

, they will have a high unemployment rate. Without stabilized income, they will potentially commit crimes again. So, the other alternative approach is,

first,

to carry out some relevant classes in

prison

;

for example

teach

Fix the infinitive

to teach

show examples

them some laws and the significance of following the rules. Let them regulate their own

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Besides

this

involves some technical education. Each of them must practice one or two skills

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that when they return to society they will have a matching career to find their own value.

Consequently

, it is valuable to provide some education for

criminals

. To sum it up, there are many benefits to putting

criminals

prison

and

also

letting them learn some rules and skills. Making some combination of the two approaches will contribute to a healthy and peaceful society;

moreover

, we will have a bright future.

Submitted by ysh424 on Fri Oct 18 2024

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses all parts of the task. However, ensure that each of your main ideas is fully developed. Consider expanding your points further for a more comprehensive response.

coherence and cohesion

While your essay is logically organized, using clear transitional phrases can further enhance the coherence of your argument. Ensure smooth flow between ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

task achievement

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

359 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays,some individuals prefer to take criminals to prison,and others tend to provide some education and job practices.From my own perspective,I agree with part of the point of view,and I will demonstrate the reasons.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents due to the fact that their parents are busy working. To what extend do you think it effects the while family?

Nowadays many people chose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that too much attention and too many sources are given to the protection of wild animals and wild birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?