IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that the best way to imporve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #imporve #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
Nowadays,health is one of the important factors in society.A small number of public suggesting that
adds
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
 more features and equipment to do exercise be an as healthy while, another public asking to find out different methods rather than practise use with machinery.In my opinion, game facilities are essential for fitness but need to be implemented other ways to keep our energy for long life.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 current scenario,youngsters are choosing
Change preposition
to workout
show examples
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
 in the gym to get a healthy body since the features
providing
Wrong verb form
provided
show examples
 by machines are helping to reduce weight as fast and can train in the proper way.
In addition
,it helps to keep continuity to do exercise on
moment
Add an article
the moment
a moment
show examples
 in a place were filled with useful items.
For instance
, in Kerala, most of the adults are inquisitive to obtain a strong body with six packs to impress others and
this
 trend became popular
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
last
 couple of years.Even girls
also
 like to spend
Add an article
an hour
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 in the gym to get
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
show examples
 shape and reduce belly fat.
This
 concept is adopted by youngsters around the world since the features are
avaible
Correct your spelling
available
 for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better strength.
On the other hand
,several public opted for other ways to maintain well-being since they think that workout in a gym is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of occasion and which would not help to stand as strong in terms of mentally and physically.
In addition
, they like to go for yoga and other meditations to become physical as good.Another group of people are
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 about their food which helps them to keep as strong
instead
 of going for an exercise since the lack of hygienic food causes to make unhealthy.There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 another number of families
don't
Correct pronoun usage
that don't
show examples
 like to spend more money in a workout place and they have taken
diet
Correct article usage
a diet
show examples
 to stand as healthy in public. In conclusion,getting a healthy body
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 with equipment or supplementary products will be detrimental to
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 rather than practise to do meditation or yoga and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 fresh food on
date
Add an article
the date
a date
show examples
 will give more health for long life. The government should implement a system to educate about being a healthy human always.
Submitted by rahul.gauri00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: