IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The freedom to make
noise
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 is a contested issue as it can be quite annoying for some
people
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. Many argue that
this
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 activity should be highly restricted,
while
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 others believe it should be developed freely.
This
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 essay will cover each side of the argument in turn. I believe the levels of
noise
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 citizens make should be strongly regulated
due to
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 its negative associated effects.
First,
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noise
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 can affect
people
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´s physical and mental health negatively. Noisy activities can lead
people
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 to suffer from stress, as
human
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the human
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 body is not prepared biologically for strong and constant stimuli.
Consequently
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, citizens may find it far more difficult to relax and keep their biological rhythms at work naturally, leading to illnesses.
Nevertheless
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, it is true that some noisy services
such
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 as construction, can´t be limited as they play a central role in the development of societies.
However
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, regulating the amount of
noise
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 which
people
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 make can affect their
wellfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
 directly. Many citizens like planning activities
such
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 as partying in discos or playing music outdoors. On
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 occasions, the level of
noise
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 is key to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 a good experience.
Thus
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, any limit in the development of these plans will disturb
people
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 and diminish their
wellfare
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welfare
.
To sum up
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, making
noise
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 freely is a
current
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currently
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 debated topic. Regulating the amount of
noise
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 can keep
people
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 healthy within a biological frame,
although
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 their
wellfare
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welfare
 can be compromised by limiting noisy but high-enjoyable social activities. In my view, I recommend governments
to
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apply
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regulate the amount of
noise
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 in any population as I consider individuals´ health far more important than their own enjoyment.

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task achievement
Consider further developing your arguments by providing specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, mention specific studies, statistics, or real-life situations where noise regulation had significant effects, either positively or negatively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between ideas and arguments. While your essay generally flows well, some sections could benefit from more explicit transitional phrases to highlight the connection between points.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully presented a clear introduction and conclusion, appropriately summarizing the key points of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains well-structured paragraphs that present contrasting viewpoints effectively, enabling the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a balanced task response by addressing both views and providing a personal opinion supported by reasoning.
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