Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field has a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over professional
athletes
' influence on young
people
.
While
some claim that
athletes
bring a greatly
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
impact on the young, the opposite makes a statement that their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
acts as a disturbance in the young generation.
This
phenomenon has both pros and cons, I would contend that it is ideal to examine both sides. Without a shadow of a doubt, talented
athletes
prove themselves as decent role models for children.
This
is
due to
the fact that if the athlete demonstrates a healthy balance between putting effort into achieving the goal and having fun with the process, he or she can encourage young
people
to be diligent and try their best to fulfil their prophecy. To be specific, living healthily and managing to overcome difficulties can be cited as outstanding instances which are inspired by the athlete idols of children.
Hence
, the young can learn a wealth of helpful and positive things from professional
athletes
.
While
the redeeming feature brought by
athletes
is widely acknowledged, its downside still lingers. Obviously, professional
athletes
are not always good role models. The explanation for
this
is that a wide range of talented
athletes
commit crimes,
although
they are well-known and influential. Their fans, especially young fans, can commit the same crimes as they want to imitate their idols.
For example
, Paul Pogba, who was a football star, has been suspended after testing positive for a banned substance.
Thus
, professional
athletes
may play a negative role in the young generation. In conclusion,
athletes
can encourage young
people
to follow healthy and positive actions, but they can
also
bring an
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
effect on the young. So, young
people
should choose the correct person to follow their examples.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to elaborate further on each point to give the essay more depth. For example, provide more specific examples of athletes who have had a positive influence on young people, as well as those who have had a negative influence.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs. This can be achieved by linking the ideas more clearly and ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking phrases and words can help achieve this.
introduction and conclusion
Good introduction and conclusion, providing a clear overview of the essay's intent and summarizing the key points.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: