IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Living in a big city can be bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Given the numerous opportunities offered by big
cities
Use synonyms
, the populations within
increase
Correct pronoun usage
them increase
show examples
 constantly. Bringing debates considering whether living in big
cities
Use synonyms
 is good or bad
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their well-being. In my opinion, living in big
cities
Use synonyms
 does harm to one's
well being
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there is no doubt that
civilians
Correct article usage
the civilians
show examples
 of big
cities
Use synonyms
 are provided with health care resources. Medical structures
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 hospitals and
clinics
Punctuation problem
clinics,
show examples
 are constructed within, which are well equipped with advanced equipment and a bunch of well-trained doctors and nurses.
Secondly
Linking Words
, health practising structures
such
Linking Words
 as gyms and stadiums are
also
Linking Words
 located within urban areas.
citizens
Fix capitalization
Citizens
show examples
 there can maintain their wellness by using the equipment.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that living in urban areas may result in devastating consequences for an individual's well-being. The primary reason is that the environment of
industrialized
Change the spelling
industrialised
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
 is mostly polluted. Factories and cars create harmful fumes which contain
pM2.5
Fix capitalization
PM2.5
show examples
 and carbon dioxide, causing severe air pollution. Citizens,
Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 have a high risk of suffering diseases like respiratory cancers and lung fibrosis. Other than that, the pace of life in the city is fast.
This
Linking Words
 will create a stressful atmosphere, leading to individuals having mental problems like depression and anxiety. In conclusion, though it is convenient to live in a metropolis, it may
also
Linking Words
 hinder people’s mental and physical health.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Be clear on your view in the start. Say if you agree a lot or a little, then add both sides before the end.
Task Response
Add more detail to each idea. Give one simple fact or example from life to back each point.
Coherence
Use one idea per paragraph. Start each paragraph with a clear line that tells what you will talk about.
Coherence
Link your ideas with small words like 'First', 'Then', 'But', 'Also', 'In the end' to help the tune of your text.
Language
Check your grammar and form. Start a sentence with a capital letter and end with a full stop.
Vocabulary
Keep words simple. Do not use hard or long terms unless you are sure what they mean.
Task Response
Your view is clear and you make a point.
Coherence
You use sign words to show order.
Idea strength
There are good points about both sides.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: