IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that young people should follow older generation’s example. Others, however, disagree and believe that it’s good to challenge older people’s opinions and thoughts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #generation’s #it’s #challenge #people’s #thoughts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recent years has witnessed tremendous growth due to technological advancement.
This
 has led to a huge generation gap between the young and the older generations. People born before the technological era face difficulties to keep up with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 techniques
moreover
, their past experience is becoming obsolete faster. While some believe that even after
this
 great revolution of technology, young and aspiring adults should still rely on the
methods
 followed by past
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
 as it is more reliable and experienced, others argue, that challenging
these old point
Change the determiner
this old point
these old points
show examples
 of view is a must. In my opinion, there is a risk of not achieving new results if we stick to the old
methods
hence
, it is absolutely necessary for innovation to try something new and test some old ideas which have been followed blindly.
To begin
 with, Every invention was created with an idea that was beyond the traditional concept. while it is undeniable that old concepts lay as the background for all new ideas,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 it is required to challenge some old concepts to invent something new.
For Example
, After vehicles were invented, it was considered the fastest mode of transport
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 several years, until
Change the article
the airplane
show examples
airplane
Fix the agreement mistake
airplanes
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 created. The idea of travelling through the sky which is a common
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 of transportation now
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 was hugely
critisized
Correct your spelling
criticized
 and deemed impossible back
then
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Challenging an outdated idea is healthy for growth, it is important to understand the concept beforehand. Since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these
methods
 are developed over a long period of time, they can be beneficial if followed to a certain degree.
For Instance
, In the
feild
Correct your spelling
field
 of medicine, though advancements have led to finding
Add an article
a cure
show examples
cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
show examples
 for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ailments, traditional medicines are still considered natural and healthy. To conclude, Though is firmly
believe
Wrong verb form
believed
show examples
 that it is necessary to break the old barriers and find new techniques for growth, it is
also
 much important to keep in mind some old experienced
methods
 laid by our forefathers.
Submitted by roshan.rebello22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: