Television dominates the free time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#television #time #people

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Nowadays,many people think that visual media makes a barrier on the public useful moment to mingle with others and

also

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get feel sloth.In my opinion,I strongly disagree with

this

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statement and we discuss as detailed in the following paragraphs about the points of disagreement.

Firstly

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,most of the public lives in a rushed life with a job and other activities even though, have

Correct article usage

apply

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media at home to watch.

Moreover

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, the world not getting sufficient age to spend watching serials or cinemas in front of a TV.

For instance

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,I was used to watching these units when at my age of education but now not have enough

second

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to watch some programmes on tv unless having era with my kids.

Secondly

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,the social chasing to earn money rather than to use devices for wasting moments.

In addition

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,some of them like to interact with others and a number of members utilise the occasion effectively in the gym,yoga centres and public parks. Avoid

to spend

Change the verb form

spending

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month

Fix the agreement mistake

months

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on devices which helps to

busy

Add a missing verb

be busy

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with charity assistance for several families and it brings more pleasure

themselves

Change preposition

to themselves

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and another person too.

In addition

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,we can be with family members to talk about current affairs or personal subjects if decrease the habits of

listeningin

Correct your spelling

listening

listening in

a unit.

For example

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,my brother seems very busy even he having food at

restaurant

Add an article

the restaurant

a restaurant

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for the

last

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couple of months

nevertheless

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,now he find time to talk with us after having a proper council about the problems of using

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apply

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visual media continuously. In conclusion,watching tv is not a crime occasionally but it makes irritating to other members if used all time.So, everyone should understand about the precious point with others to speak and enjoy life.

Submitted by rahul.gauri00 on Sun Nov 21 2021

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Television dominates the free time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socializing with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best thing a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support.

In many countries, the government prioritises economic growth above all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Doctors recommend that older people should excersice regularly.However many of them do not exercise enough. What are the causes? What can be done to encourage them to exercise?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?