Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Although

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smartphones

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offer numerous benefits to

children

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, excessive use can have detrimental effects. As the global population continues to grow, more houses are being built, which leaves fewer outdoor spaces for

children

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to play sports like cricket and football, particularly in urban areas.

Consequently

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children

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are spending more of their leisure time on

smartphones

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. A smartphone with internet access can be highly advantageous for

children

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. It significantly aids their studies; if they struggle to grasp a theory, equation, or topic, they can quickly search for explanations online. Numerous educational channels are available to help clarify their confusion.

Additionally

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smartphones

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keep

children

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connected to their parents. In emergencies,

children

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can call their parents for assistance.

Conversely

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, excessive smartphone use can lead to addiction.

Children

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may become engrossed in online games, binge-watch videos on platforms like YouTube, or constantly scroll through social media, diverting their attention from studies.

This

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lack of physical activity can

also

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lead to health issues.

Moreover

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, their mental development may suffer

due to

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reduced opportunities for outdoor play. Engaging in games with peers fosters communication skills, teamwork, and leadership qualities, which are essential for success in school, college, and later

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

in their professional lives.

While

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smartphones

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provide many advantages, we must not overlook their negative aspects. Parents should monitor their

children

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's smartphone usage to prevent adverse effects on their mental and physical health.

santanusaha950

Nov 11, 2025

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improvement

Be clear on your own view at the end.

improvement

Use simple link words to join ideas, like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'therefore'.

improvement

Keep one idea per paragraph and use short, clear sentences.

improvement

Add more one clear fact or small example to back a point.

strength

Shows both good and bad sides of phone use.

strength

Gives examples like study help and safety.

strength

Ends with a practical note for parents.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

225 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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