IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that we cannot learn anything from the past for our life today, while others believe that history is a valuable source of information to understand human's life. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#people #life #history #source #information
Although
 some people consider that our
history
 is irrelevant to learn new knowledge for us nowadays, others think that learning of our past is important to understand
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 of human beings and I agree. In my opinion
history
 is one the most important thing to know
Change preposition
about the
show examples
the
Change the word
our
show examples
 development
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. On the one hand, some believe that the past
life
 is not important for our development because their says that the sciences
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 much more important,
this
 thought could be
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
 by the new discoveries and the hight tech that we have now and their
prefer
Replace the word
preference
show examples
 to live
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
 the present. I think it could be
a wrong thoughts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a wrong thought
wrong thoughts
show examples
 because
instead
 of
believe
Change the verb form
believing
show examples
 that we don´t need our heritage
history
 we ought to remember that all
technilogies
Correct your spelling
technologies
 advances are for researches about the invents of our ancestors.
On the other hand
, many people consider that the most important
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 to understand our
life
 is by our past, and I agree. The sciences
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 based
of
Change the preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the principle
show examples
principle
Fix the agreement mistake
principles
show examples
 researched of
other old scientist
Change the wording
another old scientist
other old scientists
show examples
, and their carry
this
 thought to create new inventors.
Besides
, I could say that many times we understand the behaviour of some relatives when we know about their past.
For instance
, when I went to
Correct your spelling
psychologist
psychologists
psycologist
Correct article usage
a psycologist
show examples
, she ask me about my past, whit my family, and how was my childhood.
Then
 she
ask
Change the verb form
asks
show examples
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
my parents and my
syster
Correct your spelling
sister
 about
mi
Correct your spelling
my
show examples
life
 and in the final
lesson
Add a comma
,lesson
show examples
 she gave more information about my
behaoviur
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 to my family. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
 is important to learn about us because could be a good resource to understand how we live today. Many new
researches
Change the wording
types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
show examples
 have been found by the scientists past.
Submitted by roberto.carrascopizarro on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: