IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#diet #meat #health
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that if we are vegetarian, we will live healthy and longer while other
people
Use synonyms
 thought that
meat
Use synonyms
 is the most important meal for our growth and metabolism. In my opinion, I prefer to eat
meat
Use synonyms
 to get the required nutrients for our bodies. On one hand,
people
Use synonyms
 recommend being a vegan because we can get the required nutrients from just vegetables, fruits and nuts.We don't need to eat
meat
Use synonyms
 even we can obtain the required proteins and vitamins from vegan meals. We should be kind to animals.
For example
Linking Words
, in Buddhists, most of the
people
Use synonyms
 are vegetarian and don't eat
meat
Use synonyms
 but they can live happy and healthy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we do need to eat
meat
Use synonyms
 to be a variety of nutrients. We can get proteins, Vitamin A and Vitamin K by eating
meat
Use synonyms
 and fish. They
also
Linking Words
 encourage our growth and help to operate our body metabolism.It is right that we can get protein and other vitamins from nuts and peas, we still do need to have a diet including
meat
Use synonyms
 because you cannot get sufficient amount from that seeds as we get from
meat
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, u can look at the
people
Use synonyms
 who eat only vegetables and who eat properly. You can see the differences even in physical features. In conclusion, I would to like agree to have diet properly rather than eating just only vegetables and fruits.
Although
Linking Words
 we should be kind to animals, there are many ways to preserve them and we should be more emphasis on our health.
Submitted by sushinthantsann on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: