IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge admission fee while others are free. Do the advantage of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantage?

#museums #charge #admission #fee #advantage #people #visit #museum
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In
this
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 contemporary era, more
people
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 are becoming interested in
museums
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. Several
museums
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 have no entrance
fee
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 while some are charging for admission.
However
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, there are both positive and negative aspects associated with
this
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 issue, the disadvantages of charging fees take precedence over the benefits.
To begin
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 with, one of the advantages of charging
people
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visiting
Change the verb form
to visit
show examples
museums
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 is that the owners will have the budget for developing and reconstructing these valuable places. Earning income for the museum is an important factor to maintain the existence of the atheneum because handing objects in the gallery requires specific care,
thus
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 an expert in
this
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 field is needed to be hired.
Museums
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 would have enough revenue to pay for these expenditures.
On the contrary
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, the admission
fee
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 can be an obstacle in education for many
people
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, especially those with low socioeconomic status. Not all individuals will have enough money to pay for the entrance
fee
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.
For example
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, poor students may not have an opportunity to learn more about specific topics like national history or science, since they could not afford the entrance
fee
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.
Further
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 education should not be inhibited by money.
Moreover
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,
museums
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 are
also
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 one of the destinations of the vast majority of foreign tourists, paying fees may be one of the factors that impede an excellent chance to spread the culture to
people
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 from all around the world. Travellers may hesitate to spend their money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the museum,
besides
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 they tend to spend their budget on shopping or nice cuisine. In conclusion, from the aforementioned, there are both pros and cons of charging a
fee
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,
however
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, I personally think that it will definitely have disadvantages over advantages.
Submitted by 180nam.r405 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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