IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that working from home is beneficial for employees and companies, while others think it has more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although
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 it is sometimes thought that working remotely has serious advantages for staff and corporations, other
people
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 believe that it brings numerous negative impacts.In my opinion, I consider that working from
home
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 has a multitude of benefits. On the one hand, some
people
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 think that compared to commuting to
work
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, working from
home
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 brings more convenience, and I agree.
In other words
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, working from
home
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 can enhance
employees
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'
work
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 efficiency and productivity.
For example
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, international companies generally develop more rapidly than traditional industries since most of the
work
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 in the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 industry can be completed on computers and
employees
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'
work
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 is not restricted by time and space.
In addition
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, it
also
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 can reduce
employees
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' commuting costs and companies' operating expenses at the same time. Another benefit of working from
home
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 is that it helps
employees
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 keep a balance between
work
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 and life.
This
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 means that
employees
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 can organize their
work
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 more flexibly, which not only significantly enhances their job satisfaction but
also
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 can contribute to the harmony of the whole society.
On the other hand
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, many
people
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 are convinced that it is better if
employees
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work
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 in the office.
While
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 it is inevitable that some commuting time will be consumed, it will be beneficial to
enhancing
Change the form of the verb
enhance
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 the working atmosphere and cohesion of the team. To illustrate, when a company needs to develop a new project, gathering together for brainstorming proves a highly effective way. It helps them to come up with great new ideas rapidly and
also
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strengthen
Correct subject-verb agreement
strengthens
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 the team's collaborative ability.
Furthermore
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, working in the office offers more opportunities for in-depth communication with leaders. In
this
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 way,
employees
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 can show their
work
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 attitudes and social abilities.
This
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 may provide more promotion opportunities for their future career. In conclusion,
while
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 many
people
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 may vary their own opinions, I think that a flexible working environment can inspire
employees
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' enthusiasm and help them balance
work
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 and life.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the conflicting views and states your opinion, which is a strong start. However, adding a brief outline of the points you will discuss could enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint. Consider using more cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, in addition) to improve flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
While you provide examples to support your points, introducing more specific real-world examples could strengthen your argument and enhance the relevance of your ideas.
Task Achievement
Your argument about the benefits of working from home, particularly in terms of efficiency and life balance, is well articulated.
Coherence and Cohesion
The distinction between the benefits of office work and remote work is clearly defined in your paragraphs, aiding reader understanding.
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