IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #ages #outweigh
In
this
 day and
age
, people prefer to give birth when they are in their late adulthood. Nowadays,
this
 generation
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to have children at an older
age
 because many believe that at
such
 time they would have had wealth of experience and might have saved enough resources to take care of their young. Notwithstanding the challenges of conception they would face, the merits of that decision outweigh the demerits. To start with,
although
 at a much younger
age
, it is easier to conceive and give birth with little or no complication with regard to grown adults which in most cases would have to go through a lot of treatment and medication in order for them to have babies
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, older folks do have the skills and knowledge in raising a child.
For example
, my mom had my elder sibling and
I
Change the pronoun
me
show examples
 at 40 years. By
then
 she alone
babysitted
Correct your spelling
babysitter
 us with no assistance from her
parents
 or neighbours. Older
parents
 tend to understand and can relate to the conditions of their kids especially when they are ill. Another advantage of having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offspring at an older
age
 in modern days is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
parents
 would have good savings to meet the monetary needs of their children. They would not rely on people for financial support to care for their young. To illustrate, most older
parents
 do not beg for money to pay hospital bills incurred to treat their kids as compared to younger adults who usually solicit financial help. To conclude, in recent times most people tend to have children at an old
age
 because the benefits supersede the disadvantages as they are well prepared to solve their problems and know how to take care of their offsprings.
Submitted by mannahevelyn30 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: