At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantage of this situation outweight disadvantages?

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Population in the world is increasing

overtime

Correct your spelling

over time

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, but in some cases, some countries have more young

adults

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compared to older

people

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While

Linking Words

it brings numerous drawbacks, there are

also

Linking Words

significant benefits.

Hence

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both issues and argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin

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with, having more young

adults

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can have some drawbacks. In fact, young

adults

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have less experience compared to old

people

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Therefore

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, the

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

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achieved by young

adults

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in the workplace and community will be less effective and efficient. Other than that, young

adults

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may have different personalities and backgrounds

due to

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new trends and different generations.

Hence

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, companies and old

people

Use synonyms

need to understand how to approach young

adults

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properly in order to attract and have a good relationship with them.

However

Linking Words

, with a proper education system and guidance, young

adults

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can be prepared to replace old

people

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that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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will soon have their retirement.

Hence

Linking Words

, the nation does not have to worry about searching for replacements.

For example

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, Japan right now is struggling to find

replacement

Fix the agreement mistake

replacements

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in workplace and government positions because their population includes more old

people

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rather than young

adults

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As a result

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, Japan provides many scholarship exchange programs and international internship programs to invite more young

adults

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from other countries to help them manage companies and communities.

To conclude

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, by having more young

adults

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rather than old

people

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, the country does not have to worry about finding any replacement.

Therefore

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, I believe that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages in

this

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case.

kellyWed Jun 19 2024

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task achievement

While your essay is structured well and addresses the prompt, you could strengthen your task response by providing more specific details and examples to support your points. Perhaps you could add more real-world examples like the Japan example you provided to create a more convincing argument.

coherence cohesion

Your points are logically organized, and you have an introduction and conclusion. However, transitions between paragraphs can be smoother to improve the flow of your essay. Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas better.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly stating your stance and summarizing your main points.

task achievement

You provided a balanced discussion by acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of having a larger number of young adults, which strengthens your essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. do the advantage of this situation outweight disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

your friend is taking an exam and has asked to you help him/her with studying because he/she knows that you usually do well. write a letter to your friend. In your letter * Tell him /her how you study *Give him /her on advice about the week before the exam. * Explain what to do on the day

There are millions of vehicles on the road nowadays, and the number is predicted to increase in the future. Many argue that alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Public transporation is essential but problematic. Describe soem of the problems connected to the public transportation and suggest some solutions.

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

your friend is taking an exam and has asked to you help him/her with studying because he/she knows that you usually do well. write a letter to your friend. In your letter * Tell him /her how you study Give him /her on advice about the week before the exam. Explain what to do on the day