IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The purpose of business is to make money and they should concentrate only on this. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge of experience.

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It is commonly believed that
companies
Use synonyms
 exist to earn
money
Use synonyms
 only, and all other purposes are extra and don'
t
Use synonyms
must
Verb problem
apply
show examples
be intensively processed. I can'
t
Use synonyms
 fully agree with the statement, and, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my point of view. To start with, the stage of the company's development should be taken into account. Undoubtedly, if the company just started the business, its main aim is to survive. If we take any start-up as an example, its workers must concentrate only on making
money
Use synonyms
. It's typical when employees strive to design breaking-throw products working overtime, without a justified salary.
However
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, they stay motivated so
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they have a chance to make beneficial things and make the world better
as a result
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.
On the other hand
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, if we talk about stable large
companies
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, we should remember that they are responsible for employees. Businesses highly recommended providing workers with better working conditions. It's a common practice to allocate
money
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on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 social programs, medical insurance and other bonuses.
For instance
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, IT
companies
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 usually grunt workers with a multitude of perks.
Also
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, they design stunning offices that attract people and motivate them to work more. The next important argument against the statement is that in most cases
companies
Use synonyms
 affect
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 environment. Taking firms that work with natural resources as an example, they are obligated to pay extra taxes to help
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 support the ecological programs.
Furthermore
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, large
companies
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 have the resources to participate in charity.
Such
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 non-profitable actions help
companies
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 both to get a better reputation and to help society as a rule.
To conclude
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, I strongly feel that
companies
Use synonyms
 shouldn'
t
Use synonyms
 concentrate only on making financial benefits from their business. Social programs and environmental care are as important as earning
money
Use synonyms
. The only exception could be made for start-ups because they just started their way and can'
t
Use synonyms
 afford to pay attention to non-necessary activities.

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task response
Ensure that the focus of the essay directly addresses the given statement. Your arguments should be more clearly tied to the main point of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The essay displays a clear introduction and conclusion, but some of the supporting points could be more effectively connected. Try to use transition words to ensure smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
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