Some people say that music is good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Many

inividuals

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individuals

hold the opinion that

music

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

an ideal way to connect with

people

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of various backgrounds

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and

show examples

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and

show examples

ages. From my point of view, I strongly

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agree

show examples

a gree

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agree

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with

this

Linking Words

statement. In the

follwing

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following

paragraphs, the reasons to support my view will be outlined in detail. It is apparent that there is no language barrier when it comes to

music

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. According to the popularity of K-Pop songs spread all over the world, there are many fans that listen and enjoy

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

show examples

song

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songs

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even they do not know the meaning of

lyrics

Correct article usage

the lyrics

show examples

. To

illustate

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illustrate

, the concert tickets of K-Pop groups

such

Linking Words

as Black pink and BTC are quickly sold out in many countries like the USA, Japan and Thailand which these countries

are not commonly use

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are not commonly using

are not commonly used

show examples

Korean

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the Korean

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language as their mother tongue. Apart from that, even though some of the classical

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

only comes with just the sound of

Use synonyms

music

Replace the word

musical

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instruments, many

people

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still realized the oneness of their feeling as they listen to it. Since every person can

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be related

show examples

Wrong verb form

relate

show examples

this

Linking Words

feeling, they can

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be related

relate

show examples

music

Use synonyms

as well.

Moreover

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is a part of family reunion's culture.

For example

Linking Words

, the festival that all family

member

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members

show examples

gatering

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gathering

together like

new

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the new

show examples

year celebration, it is common in Thailand to

doing

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show examples

Karaoke after the special dinner.

In addition

Linking Words

, we usually use

music

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before

start

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starting

show examples

any activities to break the ice among the

people

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that meet each other

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

firt

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first

time. If there is no

music

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, it would be difficult for

people

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of different age

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

to connect together. In conclusion, there are many ways

are

Correct pronoun usage

that are

show examples

used to

bonding

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bond

show examples

between

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

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, I still believe that

music

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is one of the most effective ways because it helps

people

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forget their differences, and it

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

a binding force between the different

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

Submitted by tantika.l on Tue Nov 23 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good comuninty spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work. Schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extend do you agree?

Today, newspapers and televisions are giving detailed descriptions on crimes. Some people believe such a practice will cause bad consequences and thus media should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous people. Why might this be the case? What problems might it cause?