Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

#adults #time #computer #games #development

A good number of grown-ups like to spend their spare time playing

computer

or video

games

nowadays.

This

essay will discuss how

entertainment

value is the primary contributor to

this

trend. Personally, I believe

this

is a positive

development

because it sharpens the cognitive

skills

of those

adults

Computer

games

are played chiefly for their immersive and

entertainment

value. Individuals can gain an extremely immersive and pleasant experience by playing

computer

games

. The

games

, in fact, offer players with interactive gameplay mechanics, visually attractive graphics and sound, and engaging storylines.

That is

why,

adults

are more likely to choose to spend leisure time playing

computer

games

as a means of

entertainment

that helps them to unwind after a hectic day. A good example here is my case. I often play the Age of Empire game because it allows me to immerse myself into the game, providing a vast world to explore and embark on epic conquest,

thus

helping me to escape from daily stress and shift my focus onto the challenging tasks within the virtual world for a short

while

. Playing

computer

games

reaps benefits to

adults

by enhancing cognitive

skills

and

that is

why I consider it a positive

development

. Many

games

, especially those in the simulation and strategy genres, present gamers with an epic of challenges that require critical reasoning, problem-solving, and decision-making competencies to devise best-laid plans in order to overcome them. Not only are these transferable

skills

valuable in the gameplay world but

also

can be applied in real-life problem-solving situations. Take “Civilization”

for example

. The game offers players a series of challenges that require cognitive

skills

to examine situations, determine obstacles, and design effective strategies to overcome them. In conclusion,

adults

today tend to play digital

games

because these

games

are the modern form of

entertainment

to relieve the pressures of life, and I think

this

is a positive

development

as it fosters cognitive

development

Submitted by shaikha.alsaif4 on Fri May 24 2024

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task

Ensure that all points in your argument are well-supported with specific examples. For instance, adding a few more varied examples can strengthen your points about cognitive skill enhancement.

coherence

Work on the transitions between paragraphs to make the essay flow more smoothly. Using more linking words or phrases can help in achieving better cohesion.

task

Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Discuss both why adults prefer gaming and whether you think this is positive or negative. You have done well, but providing a deeper analysis on both aspects can give you a higher score.

coherence

Try to add a more comprehensive conclusion that summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.

coherence

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and your position, which is excellent for setting the stage for your argument.

task

You have provided clear reasons for why adults play computer games, such as the immersive and entertainment value, which is a strong point in supporting your argument.

task

The essay includes specific examples, like your personal experience with 'Age of Empire' and the game 'Civilization', which effectively illustrate your points.

coherence

The conclusion restates your position clearly, which helps in giving the essay a sense of closure.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that one of the best ways to solve environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that proffessionals, such as doctors and engenieers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people have argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies. Do the advantages of video games outweigh the disadvantages ?