IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In some countries, the differences in age between parents and children are generally more significant compared to the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #differences #age #parents #children
In our ever-changing world, the question still remains is whether the advantages of the noticeable
age
 difference among family members nowadays outweigh the disadvantages or not. From my perspective, I opine that the drawbacks predominate the benefits and my essay will analyze both sides of
this
 phenomenon. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the significant
age
 gap between
parents
 and
children
 these days due to giving birth late provided
parents
 chances to become well-prepared.
As a result
 of conceiving at an older
age
,
parents
 would have opportunities to concentrate on developing their careers or finding permanent jobs,
hence
 having a high degree of financial stability. Once not being put under pressure of finance, these
parents
 could have time to register for parental professional training courses to study about
mental
Add an article
the mental
show examples
 and physical development of
children
. Thereby, they are able
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to provide the most suitable and beneficial parenting approaches for their loved ones
such
 as letting their
children
 study at international schools with exclusive education systems.
Thus
, these
children
 are likely to be fully developed for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
On the other hand
, giving birth when being older has its own unequivocal drawbacks in terms of serious health-
realted
Correct your spelling
related
 problems. Regarding mothers, conceiving at an older
age
 could make women suffer from heart disease, elevated liver enzymes or even death owing to the fact that their bodies' functions deteriorate day by day. Considering
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
, infants born in families with remarkable
age
 differences are likely to have autism or hyperactivity, which are oftentimes genetic diseases. As a consequence, a lot of expenses
as well as effort for medication
Add the comma(s)
, as well as effort for medication,
show examples
 would be required since these hereditary illnesses are usually terminal. In conclusion, the disadvantages of
this
 issue in terms of health conditions unquestionably dominate the advantages in terms of
children
 being well developed.
Therefore
,
this
 phenomenon should be addressed at the earliest convenience.
Submitted by Phuong Anh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: