Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
There is
a common knowledge
Remove the article
common knowledge music
a piece of common knowledge music
music
obtains a relation between its listener eventhough
they Correct your spelling
even though
are not speak
the same language or have Change the verb form
are not speaking
similar
Add an article
a similar
background
. I completely agree with that opinion, Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
however
Add a comma
,however
this
essay will discuss about
both Remove the preposition
apply
point
of view followed by reason and example.
To start with, many famous Fix the agreement mistake
points
singers
from around the world have their fans from different type
of countries, genders and ages. Fix the agreement mistake
types
For example
, korean
boybands are huge in Asia as well as Latin America where they Change the capitalization
Korean
conduted
their concert a couple of times there. Correct your spelling
conducted
Likewise
, Latin boyband, CNCO, has their
Correct pronoun usage
its
fanpages
in every Correct your spelling
fan pages
countries
in Southeast Asia. Change to a singular noun
country
Furthermore
, old songs from previous
Change the article
the previous
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
such
as The Beatles, Bon Jovi, Brian Mcknight and Westlife still have places in now-child playlists and there is not a secret that a bunch of teenagers enjoy old songs more than nowadays songs.
However
, some people
said in current days, music
is not the only reason for people
becoming a supporter. Singers
looks and personal life play important
Add an article
an important
role
especially once it comes to teen girls. Fix the agreement mistake
roles
For instance
, fangirl
are actually Fix the agreement mistake
fangirls
not
give much attention to the Add a missing verb
do not
music
when they decide to adore korean
boyband, BTS, but Change the capitalization
Korean
usually
it depends Add a comma
,usually
on trend
or the Add a hyphen
on-trend
singers
physical apperances
.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
appearances
music
makes an excellent job to gather people
from several cultures eventhough
there are some external factors Correct your spelling
even though
encourage
Correct pronoun usage
that encourage
people
to listening
to Change the verb form
listen
music
espeacially
for young girls. It is predicted that in the future the situation will stay Correct your spelling
especially
same
and Correct article usage
the same
music
still have
to deal with other aspects of Change the verb form
has
singers
in order to gain listeners.Submitted by Vanessanatha
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.