IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Other think that those who contribute to society like teachers and scientists are most successful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the incredibly successful group is those who have earned a countless amount of
money
Use synonyms
, others opine that a person who makes a great contribution to society is regarded as a more vital individual. Personally, I completely agree with the latter idea as creating contributions is not only beneficial to the makers themselves but
also
Linking Words
 influences a lot of ordinary individuals positively. On the one hand, becoming an affluent person is the largest success. The reason is that when
people
Use synonyms
 have a vast amount of
money
Use synonyms
, they are able to do anything that they are passionate about, which is the meaning of our lives and the goal that a significant percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 hope to reach out to.
For example
Linking Words
, a vast majority of office workers say that their dream is purchasing anything that they like without any thoughts, and fulfilling
this
Linking Words
 lifestyle is making a considerable amount of
money
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, attaining economic freedom is an extremely successful thing for most
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others argue that making a contribution to the community is the biggest achievement.
This
Linking Words
 is because the accomplishment of contribution not only benefits the makers’ mental well-being but
also
Linking Words
 increases the life of quality of
people
Use synonyms
 around them,
thus
Linking Words
 resulting in a society
that is
Linking Words
 stable and respects them. As an illustration, the invention of the Internet both helps the inventors feel a sense of accomplishment and generate a convenient life that everyone feels comfortable. To sum up, it is undeniable that individuals who make a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 are the most successful
people
Use synonyms
 in the world.
However
Linking Words
, I contend that making improvements to society is presented as the largest achievement since it is not only advantageous to mental contributors’ health but
also
Linking Words
 impacts positively on every person.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: