Some people think that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Other think that those who contribute to society like teachers and scientists are most successful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #teachers #scientists

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While some

people

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argue that the incredibly successful group is those who have earned a countless amount of

money

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, others opine that a person who makes a great contribution to society is regarded as a more vital individual. Personally, I completely agree with the latter idea as creating contributions is not only beneficial to the makers themselves but

also

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influences a lot of ordinary individuals positively. On the one hand, becoming an affluent person is the largest success. The reason is that when

people

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have a vast amount of

money

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, they are able to do anything that they are passionate about, which is the meaning of our lives and the goal that a significant percentage of

people

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hope to reach out to.

For example

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, a vast majority of office workers say that their dream is purchasing anything that they like without any thoughts, and fulfilling

this

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lifestyle is making a considerable amount of

money

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As a result

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, attaining economic freedom is an extremely successful thing for most

people

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On the other hand

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, others argue that making a contribution to the community is the biggest achievement.

This

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is because the accomplishment of contribution not only benefits the makers’ mental well-being but

also

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increases the life of quality of

people

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around them,

thus

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resulting in a society

that is

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stable and respects them. As an illustration, the invention of the Internet both helps the inventors feel a sense of accomplishment and generate a convenient life that everyone feels comfortable. To sum up, it is undeniable that individuals who make a lot of

money

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are the most successful

people

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in the world.

However

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, I contend that making improvements to society is presented as the largest achievement since it is not only advantageous to mental contributors’ health but

also

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impacts positively on every person.

Submitted by Piglittle2503 on Thu Nov 25 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Some people think that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Other think that those who contribute to society like teachers and scientists are most successful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Topic: Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. Task: what are the advantages and disadvantages of children playing computer games?

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Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweigh the diadvantages ?