Topic: Some people think it is the responsibility of individuals to protect the environment, while others say governments should take responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The environment is a major concern for
people
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around the world.
While
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some argue that
individuals
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should take responsibility for protecting it, others believe that
governments
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should play a bigger role. In my opinion, both
individuals
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and
governments
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have important roles to play. On the one hand,
individuals
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can make a significant difference by adopting eco-friendly habits.
For example
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,
people
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can reduce waste by recycling, using reusable bags, and avoiding single-use plastics.
Furthermore
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,
individuals
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can save energy by using public transport, turning off lights when not needed, and installing solar panels at home. These small actions, when adopted by many
people
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, can lead to a big positive impact on the environment.
However
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,
individuals
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alone cannot solve global environmental problems.
On the other hand
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,
governments
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have the power to implement large-scale policies that address environmental issues.
For instance
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, they can create laws to limit industrial pollution or ban the use of harmful substances like plastic bags.
Governments
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can
also
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invest in renewable energy projects,
such
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as wind and solar power, which are essential for reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
Additionally
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, public campaigns organized by
governments
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can educate
people
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about how to live sustainably. Without government action,
individuals
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may lack the resources or knowledge to make significant changes. In conclusion, both
individuals
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and
governments
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are responsible for protecting the environment.
While
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individuals
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can make small changes in their daily lives,
governments
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must lead the way by enforcing laws and investing in sustainable solutions.
Therefore
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, I believe a combination of individual and government efforts is necessary to solve environmental problems effectively.

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coherence cohesion
Consider using more varied connectives and transitions between paragraphs or key points to further enhance cohesion.
task achievement
You could explore providing a counter-argument or addressing potential critiques to expand on the depth of your response.
task achievement
Your essay efficiently balances the discussion of both views with a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
You have used specific examples, which provide clarity and support to your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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