In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish, causing pollution on land and in the water, so people think they should be ban. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, shopping
bags
made from
plastic
have caused controversy in society. Some
people
believe
plastic
bags
should be banned because they harm the environment
such
as water and soil. I strongly agree with that opinion and I believe that society should start considering replacing
plastic
bags
with other environmentally friendly
bags
in order to lessen the negative impact made by
plastic
bags
. On the one hand, much research has shown that
plastic
bags
have a lot of disadvantages for the environment. A recent case found by researchers is there are a lot of
plastic
bags
floating in the sea and getting stuck in
turtle
fins. That could bother the
turtle
activities.
Moreover
, researchers obtained that there are several cases of
plastic
bags
eaten by turtles because they are misrecognized as jellyfish.
This
would seriously harm the
turtle
's life and could make the
turtle
become an extinct animal.
On the other hand
, a lot of
people
have started a movement of change in order to shift the use of
plastic
bags
.
For example
, in Indonesia, a well-known mini market named Alfamart has banned
plastic
bags
in order to support
this
movement. Customers are required to bring their own
bags
to the shop, even if they forget to bring them, Alfamart will not give the
plastic
bags
to them so they have to bring their groceries by hand.
Although
it is done only in Alfamart, there are big chance that
this
movement could be done by bigger organizations and become globally adopted by
people
. In conclusion, I would say that banning
plastic
bags
nationally is a good idea and I strongly agree with that, but
this
must be supported by organizations and the government so
people
are doing it because of the rules.
Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure and cohesion, it would be helpful to link ideas more clearly between paragraphs using a wider range of cohesive devices such as transitional phrases.
task achievement
Consider exploring counterarguments to your opinion to demonstrate a fully balanced view and enhance the depth of your argument. This can also show a wider range of language skills.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in the presentation of your ideas by ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main point that is clearly stated in the topic sentence.
introduction conclusion present
You effectively introduce and conclude your essay, clearly presenting your opinion and summarizing key points.
relevant specific examples
The use of specific examples, such as the Alfamart case in Indonesia, strengthens your arguments and makes your points more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay exhibits clear and comprehensive ideas, making your stance on the issue readily apparent to readers.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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