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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough

#culture #children
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Nowadays, in a certain segment of society, there has been an endless debate whether
children
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 should be raised in the enforcement or in a privileged situation. There are various positive as well as negative effects of
this
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 way of thinking.
This
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 essay will elaborate on both effects.
First
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 of all, when
children
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 are raised in a hard situation, they will struggle and give their best efforts to make everything right and achieve what they want.
Second
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, they will learn either from the mistakes or obstacles that they encounter. Another advantage is
children
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 will be more prepared to face other inconvenient conditions so that they will become more adaptive and agile. There are
also
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 drawbacks that could occur if
children
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 are pushed to work hard
such
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 as they cannot enjoy their childhood, they will lose a golden moment to develop their potentials, and they will probably fail in school due to lack of time to study. In another perspective, raising
children
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 by giving them privilege will give some benefits
such
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 as they will have much more time to learn new things, create a friendship, and rest their body to maintain physical fitness. But
on the contrary
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, there is a possibility that they will be less motivated to achieve something since they think that they can get every particular thing from their
parents
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 or relatives. In conclusion,
parents
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 should balance the way how they nurture their
children
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.
Parents
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 should create an environment that can educate their
children
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 to raise their responsibility. Creating a reward and punishment rule will be so important to help
parents
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 ensure their
children
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 have motivation and self-responsibility.
Submitted by ardhiansyah.k on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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