In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.
One of the most controversial issues today relates to the movement away from friends and
families
that can help Use synonyms
people
find their jobs. Personally, I strongly disagree with Use synonyms
this
belief and Linking Words
this
essay will feature some reasons explaining my own view.
One of the strongest arguments against migrating to other cities and living far from Linking Words
families
and friends of the individuals in order to find Use synonyms
their
jobs can be ascribed to feeling homesickness and loneliness. The main reason for believing Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
is that when the citizens suffer from a large amount of pressure from their companies, nobody will be beside them and comfort the feeling. Linking Words
Moreover
, when Linking Words
people
get sick, they have to take care of themselves Use synonyms
as well as
processing refreshments. Linking Words
Therefore
, the stress will rise more often because no one beside to support them when they have difficulties in their lives.
A Linking Words
further
point which needs to be considered is the lack of care for the children whose Linking Words
parents
have to leave their homes to work in other cities. These children have to stay with their Use synonyms
parents
’ relatives when they are too young because their Use synonyms
parents
have to earn money to pay for their children’s necessities Use synonyms
such
as education and health problems. Linking Words
As a consequence
, the youngsters will not perfectly Linking Words
educate
Wrong verb form
educated
as well as
gain love from their Linking Words
parents
when they are young. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
this
will create a generation gap Linking Words
such
as disagreements between Linking Words
parents
and children when they grow up.
There are, Use synonyms
however
, some arguments that support resettling in other cities of Linking Words
people
to serve the purpose of finding a consistent job and leaving their Use synonyms
families
and friends. The most typical of these is the opportunities to develop themselves. There are a number of companies that employ workers with high salaries because they know how to appoint potential guys. Use synonyms
Additionally
, when Linking Words
people
work in good conditions can help them increase their value and contribute their own opinions to perfectly improve the product. Use synonyms
For example
, individuals who are working in difficult conditions and repeating processes will Linking Words
prevent
Wrong verb form
be prevented
them
from looking for innovations in their jobs and that will make them feel bored. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
can result in the fact that Linking Words
people
can improve their finances and support their Use synonyms
families
in dealing with different problems namely houses and health disease.
In conclusion, I tend to believe that Use synonyms
this
is a good trend. Linking Words
People
should work in places which are suit for their conditions.Use synonyms
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introduction conclusion
Work on ensuring that your introduction clearly presents a balanced view or your stance effectively. The introduction should also summarize the main points to be discussed in the essay.
logical structure
The logical progression of your ideas can be improved by using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases to help the reader better follow your arguments.
relevant specific examples
While you have provided some good examples, aim to incorporate more specific details or case studies to strengthen your arguments and provide a fuller picture.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of moving away for work.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have offered some clear, comprehensive ideas that demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
supported main points
The use of relevant examples, such as the stress of being away from family and the potential for financial improvement, helps to support your main points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example