In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying in and after school and have less free time. Do you think it has positive or negative effects on children and society that they live in?

Nowadays, some parents in some countries want their
children
to study longer
time
both in classes and after school, and
children
have less leisure
time
. From my perspective,
this
will create a negative impact on not only communities but
also
children
. In
this
essay, the cons of studying too long and less free
time
will be examined before reaching a conclusion.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that studying improves
children
's knowledge, particularly academic abilities. Having strong academic abilities are necessary for their future careers. In fact,
however
, what societies need is not just bright and billion people, but the world
need
Change the verb form
needs

The verb need does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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people who understand each other and be
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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human being.
This
is what
children
can be taught by
spend
Wrong verb form
spending

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spend. Consider changing it.

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time
on leisure activities.
For example
, in order to learn how to work in a team, students can learn from playing sports
such
as
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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basketball,
a soccer
Remove the article
soccer
a game of soccer

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun soccer in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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,
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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volleyball, etc.
Thus
, it can be seen that only studying in a classroom will create some drawbacks. Another negative
effects
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effect

The adjective another appears to be modifying the plural noun effects. Consider replacing it with the adjective other.

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on
children
from having less free
time
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject effects. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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that they will lose
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity

The noun phrase opportunity seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to find what they are really like. Generally, students should have more
time
to play sports, music, or whatever they want to do. Doing a lot of activities will help them to discover their talents.
Besides
, it will improve creativity which is as important as
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics

It seems that academic may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
For instance
, when
children
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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focus on studying only, they cannot solve the problems that require creative thinking. It means they do not have
ability
Change the article
the ability

It appears that the noun ability is not preceded by the correct article. Consider changing the article.

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to think out of the box.
Therefore
, societies will lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition of seems unecessary after the verb lack. Consider removing the preposition.

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new ideas. In conclusion, some parents believe that their
children
should spend longer
time
at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school

It seems that schools may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and after
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school

It seems that schools may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Nevertheless
, it would be better to support
children
have
Fix the infinitive
to have

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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more leisure
time
in order to strengthen their different abilities.
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