Some people think that it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illnesses, rather than funding the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that allocating a public budget for ill
people
Use synonyms
is not as important as promoting a healthy lifestyle for disease prevention. In my perspective, it's better to nip the devil from the bud, so prevention is more feasible than treatment.
First
Linking Words
and foremost, a huge part of ailments can be prevented by a healthy lifestyle. Working out on a daily basis, avoiding eating process foods, drinking sugary drinks and smoking play an important role in preventing illnesses. If
governments
Use synonyms
spend more taxes on educating
people
Use synonyms
and giving them awareness about these potential threats for human beings ,they can save billions of dollars.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays dealing with diabetic
people
Use synonyms
' costs is one of the hardest issues for
governments
Use synonyms
. But by regular examination and avoiding sugary foods individuals,
people
Use synonyms
can protect themselves from
this
Linking Words
illness.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many maladies cannot be cured. Since lots of scientists do not find any actual remedies for abundant
diseases
Use synonyms
, it is better to consider personal hygiene and a healthy lifestyle to avoid these
diseases
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, once an individual becomes HIV positive, he/she will be HIV positive for the rest of his/her life as well as HPV positive and HBV positive ,
however
Linking Words
, these viral
diseases
Use synonyms
can be prevented by following some simple protocols. Some may argue that there are so many fatal
diseases
Use synonyms
with heredity causes that cannot be prevented. They think
governments
Use synonyms
should have enough medical infrastructures for curing these
people
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, I think if
governments
Use synonyms
save finance by preventing preventative
diseases
Use synonyms
, they can invest more funding on heretical
diseases
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I completely agree with spending fundings on giving education and awareness to
people
Use synonyms
to prevent illnesses, since most of the time treatments cost more and many ailments can not be treated.
Submitted by Parastoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: