Some people think that it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illnesses, rather than funding the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #lifestyle #illnesses #treatment

Some

people

argue that allocating a public budget for ill

people

is not as important as promoting a healthy lifestyle for disease prevention. In my perspective, it's better to nip the devil from the bud, so prevention is more feasible than treatment.

First

and foremost, a huge part of ailments can be prevented by a healthy lifestyle. Working out on a daily basis, avoiding eating process foods, drinking sugary drinks and smoking play an important role in preventing illnesses. If

governments

spend more taxes on educating

people

and giving them awareness about these potential threats for human beings ,they can save billions of dollars.

For example

, nowadays dealing with diabetic

people

' costs is one of the hardest issues for

governments

. But by regular examination and avoiding sugary foods individuals,

people

can protect themselves from

this

illness.

Furthermore

, many maladies cannot be cured. Since lots of scientists do not find any actual remedies for abundant

diseases

, it is better to consider personal hygiene and a healthy lifestyle to avoid these

diseases

For example

, once an individual becomes HIV positive, he/she will be HIV positive for the rest of his/her life as well as HPV positive and HBV positive ,

however

, these viral

diseases

can be prevented by following some simple protocols. Some may argue that there are so many fatal

diseases

with heredity causes that cannot be prevented. They think

governments

should have enough medical infrastructures for curing these

people

however

, I think if

governments

save finance by preventing preventative

diseases

, they can invest more funding on heretical

diseases

. In conclusion, I completely agree with spending fundings on giving education and awareness to

people

to prevent illnesses, since most of the time treatments cost more and many ailments can not be treated.

Submitted by Parastoo on Fri Nov 26 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 1 - Summary
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that it is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illnesses, rather than funding the treatment for people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people believe that using a bicycle as your main form of transport has a lot of advantages whereas others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is more and more outrage and anger common in society today. Why is this? is this a positive or a negative development?

Every culture, throughout time, has recorded its history in one way or another. in what ways can history be passed on to the next generation? why is history important to society?