Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

There are several ways for gathering

people

together all over the world from several attitudes and ages.

Music

is one of the most common ways

that is

a reason for

this

matter. In my opinion,

music

is a decisive factor to communicate among

people

from various backgrounds and age groups in the world. It is my view that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

music

is a common language between

people

Therefore

this

can motivate

people

in several ways.

Firstly

people

can show their emotions by playing a musical instrument. Since the songs can carry out a variety of emotions,

people

who are from a different country are more likely to enjoy a song

that is

produced in another country with a different culture.

Secondly

, thanks to technology and widespread access to the Internet, individuals are able to share their favourite

music

on several platforms.

For example

, Sound Cloud is an online platform that contains million of albums in several desire, in turn,

people

can have easy and instant access to each other's saved albums. I

further

believe that

music

is a prime example of happiness among several

people

of different ages.

For instance

, once infants hear a happy rhythm, they demonstrate a nice reaction in their movements like a dance.

Therefore

music

can have a positive effect on their feelings .

Moreover

, their creativity will increase through listening or learning

music

in the future. In conclusion, I completely agree with

this

matter that

music

can lead to the universal union from different attitudes and olds. If

people

are able to listen to a piece of foreign

music

and enjoy it, they will be able to connect through

this

mean to the other communities.

Furthermore

music

plays a vital role in raising children in each year of their lives.

Submitted by hadiseh.mehdiniya on Fri Nov 26 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.