IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise cannot be returned. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter Describe the problem with the jacket. Explain what happened when you tried to return it. Say what you would like the manager to do.

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Dear Mr. Samson, Hope
this
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 letter finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing
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 letter to inform you about the
jacket
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 that I bought from your store on Tomson Road. As you know I often buy clothes from your renowned fashion brand. Please note that I bought a winter
jacket
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 from Levi's brand that cost $59. After returning home, I discovered some issues with
this
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merchandise
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such
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 as the drawstring was not working properly, and some uncut thread was found inside the pocket. The following day, I went to the same store intending to return
this
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 substandard
jacket
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.
However
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, the store manager did not agree to take back
this
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 faulty garment, even though I explained to him all the problems I had with
this
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merchandise
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. He told me that
this
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merchandise
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 is not returnable.
This
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jacket
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 was returnable within 7 days if founds any defects. Under these circumstances, please assist me in either replacing the defective
merchandise
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 or paying the money back. I am looking forward to your kind reply regarding
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 matter. Yours sincerely, Faisal

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Greeting and Closing
Ensure that you begin the letter with an appropriate greeting and close it with a suitable sign-off, such as 'Dear Sir or Madam' and 'Yours faithfully,' particularly if you don't know the manager's name.
Tone
Maintain a neutral or formal tone throughout the letter, which is more appropriate for a complaint to a manager.
Single Idea per Paragraph
Keep focused on one issue or request per paragraph, you have generally done this well, but make sure not to introduce new issues without fully explaining the ones already mentioned.
Task Achievement
You did a good job of describing the issue clearly and requesting a specific resolution. However, you should ensure every aspect of the task is completely and thoroughly addressed, for instance by clarifying when the purchase was made to help the manager understand the timeline of events.
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