it is said that music is important for bringing people togather from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

#music #people #togather #cultures #ages

It is thought that over the years

music

has played a crucial role which has brought

people

together from various parts of life

such

as varying cultures and ages. In my opinion, I agree that

music

is a good source for

people

to come together to connect.

This

will essay will discuss ways in which

music

has brought

people

together in a community and has an individual. For an individual

music

can serve as a form of healing from a broken heart. To shed more light, for someone who just lost a family or just got heartbroken by someone they love listening to

music

can be a wonderful tool to heal.

For instance

, in my hometown there is a song

that is

usually played when a loved one passes, the song serves as a form of assurance that all will be well and that the person who passed has moved on to a better place.

Hence

music

can be crucial to the healing of the heart.

Furthermore

music

can be used to draw

people

out in the community to socialise and build connections thereby having familiarities with the neighbours.

For instance

, in my suburb where I live every quarter a

music

festival is organised which they termed come have fun and socialise and every time

Change the capitalization

show examples

attend I tend to build relationships with a few

people

and till today I still communicate with them.

Therefore

, organised

music

festivals within a community can be a tool to bring

people

together. In conclusion,

music

can be a crucial tool used to draw

people

from every part of the world to enjoy, heal, build relationships and many more.

Submitted by senikanosleu on Sat Nov 27 2021

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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it is said that music is important for bringing people togather from different cultures and ages. Do you agree or disagree?

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