IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries
It is a common belief that we shouldn’t help other
countries
 because of the problems in our
countries
.
However
, I firmly believe that many other
countries
 need our help to survive. And
this
 essay will address the reasons for my view as follows.
To begin
 with, many people are inclined towards the fact that it is really selfish to just only help our communities.
First
, we all know that there are many poor
countries
 around the world
don’t
Correct pronoun usage
that don’t
show examples
 have enough food and clean water.
This
 is because of the war that some
countries
 are very rich and some very poor. There are many poor communities
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Africa, there are many kids in Africa
can’t
Correct pronoun usage
who can’t
show examples
 grow up normally because they don’t have enough food or have to drink dirty water. In another hand, there are many wealthy
countries
 in the world! People there are not only have enough food or drink but
also
 have the residual. We are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big family that we should help
Correct pronoun usage
each other
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. There are many profits when we have other nations.
For example
, we can easily make friends with our
neighbor
Fix the agreement mistake
neighbors
show examples
 when we help them with the vaccine or food… Many
countries
 around the world will see our nations are the friendly ones which make them want to be friends with us. In many ways, helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 is
also
 the best way to help ourselves. In conclusion, there are many benefits for us to help other nations. For these reasons, it is clear that helping other
countries
 or communities are really necessary for us to do.
Submitted by tonykim09 on

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