Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals form dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The world is currently facing the 5th mass extinction of
animals
due to
climate change. Some people are of the opinion that the world should save these animals
from being completely wiped out, however
, others want to focus on real-life problems faced by individuals. This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why conserving these innocent creatures is of pivotal importance.
Firstly
, we humans, ourselves
, are connected to wildlife through different means. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Animals
play a significant role in regulating the natural system of Earth. For example
, lions balance the population of deer and many other herbivore species by preying on them. If big cats become extinct, there will be an abundance of species of plant-reliant animals
which is unfavourable to mother nature. Thus
, humans need to conserve wildlife so that the ecosystems of our planet will not be disturbed and
which in turn saves us from starvation.
Correct word choice
apply
On the other hand
, while
people have their own problems to deal with, but
what they are not aware of is that the human race is Correct word choice
apply
itself one
to blame for all the damage that has been caused. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For instance
, human-induced industrialisation, unequal distribution of food, developments, increased fuel vehicles on the road, and livestock farming is
all rapidly changing the Earth’s climate at a faster rate; global warming has disturbed our agriculture, increased drought and famine worldwide. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Hence
, the occurrence of all these issues is predominantly because of the human population and strategies should be devised to curtail these problems.
In conclusion, humans and animals
always co-existed. Despite human beings having their own issues, it is imperative to save wildlife from extinction because animals
are crucial for our own survival as well.Submitted by parvezshehzeen on
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Task Response
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion. Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and provides an indication of your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is strong, and your ideas are well-organized. Work on strengthening your introduction and conclusion to create a more cohesive essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?