IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

#person #company #believe #money #reason
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
money
Use synonyms
 is the main
reason
Use synonyms
 to encourage a person to stay working for the same corporation. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the same or higher salaries are offered for the same
work
Use synonyms
 by many other
companies
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 the
company
Use synonyms
's culture plays an indispensable role than
money
Use synonyms
.
Money
Use synonyms
 is not the
reason
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 to stay working for the same
company
Use synonyms
 because many
companies
Use synonyms
 pay the same or even higher wages to their employees.
This
Linking Words
 is to say that if
money
Use synonyms
 were the only
reason
Use synonyms
 to stay working for the same
company
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 would easily switch their jobs to other
companies
Use synonyms
 that pay good package salary for the same
work
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey in Canada reported that most of the daycare and preschools in Canada offer $40,000 to early childhood educators.
company
Use synonyms
's culture and atmosphere are the important reasons to
work
Use synonyms
 for the same organisation because
people
Use synonyms
 like working to those places where they can get respect and comfortable environment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when employees are happy in the
workplace
Use synonyms
, they do not want to change their
workplace
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 feel more relaxed in the friendly atmosphere so they can easily maintain their personal and professional life.
For instance
Linking Words
, it has been seen that in India most women left high-pressure
work
Use synonyms
 after they have children because they wanted to spend more time with families. In conclusion, I disagree that
money
Use synonyms
 is not the
reason
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 do not change their
workplace
Use synonyms
 and stay working for the same organisation because there are many other
companies
Use synonyms
 who pay more
money
Use synonyms
 to
people
Use synonyms
 and the culture of the
workplace
Use synonyms
 is another important factor that
people
Use synonyms
 stay working for the same
company
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: