IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the development of technology has made our life more complex, and the solution is to live a life without that technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #development #technology #life
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Nowadays, when a tendency for significant growth in technologies can be observed , some
people
 believe that the impact of
this
 change complicates their
lives
. It is agreed, that the risk of the appearance of some negative effects cannot be denied ,
however
,
this
 development has completely revolutionized and simplified life.
This
 essay,
firstly
, will discuss how technological progress can hinder human activity, followed by an analysis of the main influences which highlight the importance of innovations.
To begin
 with, modern equipment has an overwhelming impact on
people
's ability to work,study and live their
lives
. Undoubtedly, an overuse of each gadget will have adverse consequences,
nevertheless
, not everything humanity is able to take under control.
For instance
, the potential problem of replacing workers by using robots still exists and it does not seem to be far-fetched.
In addition
, since technology evolves ,
people
 need to adapt regardless of their age.
Besides
, the appearance of internal combustion engines leads to ecological destruction, which can destroy not only health
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
 the environment.
On the other hand
, the development of various accessories gives humanity a unique opportunity to research new fields of study, including medicine.
Consequently
,
people
 were able to adapt better to new circumstances.
Moreover
, innovations facilitate life conditions ,
for example
, inventions for the performance of household duties, contribute to the realization of women in society. The nascence of planes and cars contributed to the exploitation of
the
Correct article usage
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nature, which is important from the point of view of
people
's safety. Nowadays, techniques influence our
lives
 giving us benefits
such
 as communication, safety and health care.
To conclude
,
this
 essay supports the idea that the development of innovative devices has a high impact on our
lives
,
however
, advantages are definitely overweight the potential complications.
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Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure your essay has a clear introductory paragraph, introducing the topic and stating your opinion clearly. Your conclusion should also summarise your main points and restate your position.
Logical Structure
Organize your essay in a logical structure with clear paragraphs, each discussing a separate point. Start paragraphs with a topic sentence and follow with supporting sentences.
Linking Words
Use a range of linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
Task Response
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly present your view and extend your response with developed arguments and relevant examples.
Task Achievement
To obtain a higher score in Task Achievement, elaborate on your ideas with more relevant and specific examples. Where possible, provide real-life examples or evidence to back up your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological advancements
  • Information overload
  • Social media
  • Decision fatigue
  • Paradox of choice
  • Efficiency
  • Healthcare advancements
  • Quality of life
  • Global connectivity
  • Digital divide
  • Selective usage
  • Unnecessary complexity
  • Simpler lifestyle
  • Integrate
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