Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others,however , say that this would have little effect on pyblic health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinionTopics

A number of individuals suggest myriad kinds of ways to improve public
health
such
as increasing the number of
sports
failites
Correct your spelling
facilities
.
On the contrary
, the others opine that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
such
facilities
have little
impact
on the contribution of improving public
health
and alternative
mesures
Correct your spelling
measures
should be taken into an account.
This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument.
To begin
with , the
impact
of having
increased
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
number of
sports
facilities
is undeniable due to several reasons. As a matter of fact, constructing new
sports
facilities
can
incourage
Correct your spelling
encourage
people of all ages to become more active and participate in different
sports
involving activities
such
as playing football or
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
yoga at newly constructed
facilities
.
Moreover
, having a wide range of
sports
fields is more
practicle
Correct your spelling
practical
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
individuauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
have more options to participate in physical activities wherever they desire.
On the other hand
, the supporters of making alternative decisions, are opposing the idea that building many
facilities
have a great
impact
on public
health
. Those groups
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
suggest that prohibiting drug traffics is more beneficial for the level of public
health
due to the fact that drugs are even more dangerous and are easily spread among society.
In addition
, fast food chains need to be restricted and have limitations on the consumption of meals
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
,
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
show examples
over consumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
show examples
of
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
unhealth
Correct your spelling
unhealthy
show examples
foods can result in obesity and even cause
heart related
Add a hyphen
heart-related
show examples
diseases. To conclude, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
both arguments can be beneficial for society but it would be better if serious problems
such
as drug
trafficing
Correct your spelling
trafficking
must be solved in the
first
stage because it has
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
negative
impact
on
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
and is not tackled for many centuries.
Submitted by aliyevafatya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: