Art classes such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, every parent wants their children to be able to have well-rounded training and assimilate the best education which includes Arts
Education. However
, it engendered some valid concerns that schools should be adding Art classes like compulsory lessons. From my perspective, I totally agree with the positive effect of Arts
on students, but they do not need to become compulsory subjects at school, especially high school.
First of all, all of us know that Arts
play a vital role in human life not only in learning skills but also
in cognitive capability. Explaining that, through Arts
, students can express their feelings and thinking easily and this
time, learners can develop their creativity and make them open-minded. Besides
, exposure to Arts
, schoolchildren can show clearly their ambitions and dreams; furthermore
, Arts
can help children to heal a strengthen their souls. For example
, music can control the feelings of people, and when it turns on, a boring class can become funny and exciting immediately.
However
, the reason why I think Arts
degrees do not have to turn into required ones is that not most pupils are interested in Arts
. It means that, probably, it can become a nightmare and build pressure on schoolchildren, especially in high schools where most learners are in rebellious adolescence and easily have vehement opposition from them. Having evidence for that reason, in Vietnam, painting classes or music subjects are still not obligatory lessons.
In conclusion. it is completely true that Arts
degree has many advantages for children. yet it should not be required, because of the dependence on the hobbies of each person, especially in sensitive ages Correct article usage
an Arts
such
as teenagers.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
Consider expanding on the arguments presented. Providing a more detailed examination of why arts education should not be mandatory might strengthen your essay. For example, discuss the possible negative impacts of making arts compulsory, besides just mentioning it could be a nightmare for some students.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between your paragraphs and within your paragraphs. Ensuring each idea transitions smoothly to the next can help improve the overall coherence of your essay. Using transition words or phrases can be beneficial in this regard.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to some minor grammatical issues that could enhance readability. For example, in the phrase 'it engendered some valid concerns,' 'it has engendered' might be more appropriate. Additionally, try to avoid redundant phrases such as 'through Arts,' which could be rewritten for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The structure is logical and the overall organization is easy to follow.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task effectively by presenting a clear standpoint and providing arguments for why arts education should not be compulsory in high schools.
task achievement
The examples provided, like the mention of Vietnam and the potential effects of music on emotions, add relevance and specificity to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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