IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices

#people #choices
Urbanization and the industrial revolution in the past few decades have opened doors to multiple avenues of marketing.
This
 development has led to an argument that from a consumer standpoint there are numerous options available. The following paragraphs will explore the argument in detail and will highlight the prime reasons for believing that the choices have tremendously increased in today's world.
To begin
 with, industrialization in the field of manufacturing has surged the rate of production of
goods
. The increased number of manufacturing plants have enabled companies to produce a high number of
goods
 in lesser time.
For example
, earlier the clothes were generally hand made and stitched by a human,
however
, the industrial setups introduced handloom machinery which was capable of making many more clothes than a human being in a day.
Moreover
, the enhancement of the machines used in these manufacturing plants
also
 enabled the customization of
products
.
This
 high-scale production of customized items led to easy business opportunities. To
further
 explain, setting up a trading business of
goods
 did not demand a huge upfront investment and white-labelled
products
 could now be ordered and sold in the market.
Additionally
, the adoption of cutting-edge technologies
also
 paced the development of businesses and
further
 added to the choices of
goods
 in the market. Technologies like automation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 augmented the manufacturing cycle of a product and high quality could be ensured while producing a high quantity of
goods
.
Furthermore
, the improvement in logistics and supply chain mechanisms enabled the availability of multiple
products
 globally.
For example
, a phone being manufactured in China is made available in India due to the global outreach of the
products
. Concludingly, while some oppose the argument of multiple options available nowadays, dimensions of the conjecture in the abovementioned paragraphs support my agreement on the topic and fuel the idea of increased choices in today's world.
Submitted by raghavgupta2227 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: