IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

General Training You recently attended a training course for your work. Your employer has asked you for your feedback on the training course. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter: •Remind your employer what the course was about, •Explain why the course was useful to you in your work, •Suggest why the course may not be suitable for some of your other colleagues. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ……………., You get 20 minutes to complete this task.

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Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing to provide the subject of the recent training course which I attended as the agent of our company as per your request. The course was about project fundamentals based on the
last
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 version of PMBOK - Project Management Body Of Knowledge - the most applicable standard in project management fields. As you are likely informed, we are putting up with some constraints in our ongoing projects
due to
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 a lack of sufficient knowledge in risk and cost management. In the mentioned training course I was able to review the latest tools and techniques for the required fields.
Besides
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, I had a certain time to share some pragmatic operation parameters with the tutor.
As a result
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, I could receive some debottlenecking recommendations which I believe would be definitely useful in our forward-addressing ways.
Nevertheless
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, the presented subjects including the updated techniques were all technical in detail mainly in the data analysis field and attended by some other colleagues from the other departments could be boring and ineffective presumably. Seeing that, I thank you for your vision to involve me in these courses and look forward to discussing
further
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 about the case within our upcoming meeting. Yours sincerely, Abraham Streeter

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coherence and cohesion
Consider starting with a clearer introduction or summarizing the essential purpose of the letter explicitly. This would enhance the understanding of the letter's intent from the outset.
coherence and cohesion
To improve clarity, ensure that your explanations about what was learned and how it applies to your current situation are more concise. This will help with the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
When suggesting why the course may not be suitable for others, you could provide specific examples or reasons to strengthen your point.
task achievement
The letter maintains a professional tone throughout, which is appropriate for workplace communication.
task achievement
Your use of specific terminology related to project management demonstrates a good level of understanding of the subject matter, which adds credibility to your feedback.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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