Tourism is increased in many countries. Does tourism brings more advantages or disadvantages to a country

In recent times,the rate at which

tourists

troop into foreign countries has seen an upward spike.

Foreigners

travel far from their homes to visit various countries.I believe that its benefits are more than the drawbacks.I will be discussing tourism boosting the economy and causing high employment

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

while the disadvantages are high rate of social vices and high cost of living.

First

and foremost,one of the advantages of

tourists

visiting a city is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it boosts the economy and

increase

employment in that,the more

tourists

purchase items that

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

the financial status of the

country

.Jobs are created which helps them to put food on their families tables.

For example

,United Arab Emirates has a lot of

tourists

visiting the

country

on a daily basis.Due to

this

increase

,more amenities have been sited at vantage points and

people

have been employed to attend to them.

However

this

practice has enriched the culture of the

country

In contrast

, there are some drawbacks of

tourists

coming to town.The

first

increase

Add an article

an increase

the increase

show examples

in social vices,

for

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

show examples

smoking,

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in teenage pregnancy and

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in crime rates.

Furthermore

,the cost of living increases

doe

Correct your spelling

due

show examples

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

high numbers of

foreigners

in one

country

.Most

people

who sell in our markets tend to plummet the prices goods and services due to these

people

because most

people

believe anyone who comes from a foreign land Is well to do. In summary, I strongly believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of

foreigners

visiting a particular

country

.Tourism will boost the economy and cause

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

employment

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

while the disadvantages are

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

rate of social vices and

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

cost of living.The government is

also

responsible for the beautification of its

country

hence

foreigners

visiting the

country

Submitted by berthmills4 on Thu Dec 02 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

279 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Tourism is increased in many countries. Does tourism brings more advantages or disadvantages to a country

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, imprisonment is the most common solution to crime. However, some people believe that better education will be effective solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries, some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people encourage young children to leave their parents house as soon as they become adults while other say children should stay at their parents house as long as possible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?