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Writing Samples
Band 5

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

#people #home
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In recent years, the citizens always
feeling
Wrong verb form
felt
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 unsafe whether they are at interior home or not. In my opinion, there are plenty of reasons for
this
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 issue.
However
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, I strongly believe that we could take some measures to solve
this
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 problem. There are numerous reasons why people do not feel safe even when they are at their own home.
First
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 and foremost, the level of crimes is increasing at alarming rates. In fact, there is too much news about crimes, sexual assaults, or road accidents.
Hence
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, the citizens, who see and listen to
these updated news
Change the determiner
this updated news
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 every day, feel insecure and have a fear of crime among the public.
Secondly
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, frequent occurrence of natural
disasters
Use synonyms
such
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 as an earthquake or violent storms. There is no doubt that the
disasters
Use synonyms
 destroy tons of blocks that could be dangerous for the families living here. Take Japan as an example, the people in
this
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 island country has to face misfortune earthquakes or tsunamis in their daily life.
Nevertheless
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, our safety can be made sure by some practical solutions. The mass media should reduce the amount of violence in newspapers, social networks, and TVs, which might prevent the insecurity feeling to citizens.
In addition
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,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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governments must develop new technologies that can help minimize the damages caused by natural
disasters
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, more surveillance cameras should be installed, because if the public know that
such
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 cameras were in place, they will think that they are being protected and have personal safety. In conclusion, the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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of
Change preposition
in
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 crimes and
disasters
Use synonyms
 may be the main reasons that lead to the unsafe feeling from
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. Despite that, I believe that there is always a right way to solve
this
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 serious issue.
Submitted by msphuong1234 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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