Nowadays many countries have every cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

#countries #cities #people #world #government

Now in the 21st century,

people

all over the world are studying or working in the same country. Big cities are filled with

people

from other parts of the world. With

this

regard, the government need to look

how

Change preposition

at how

show examples

these

people

can live in harmony. Everyone has different cultures. So, they need to explain

for

Change preposition

show examples

all

people

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the importance of

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

differences. If

people

understand the

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

differences amongst themselves, the quarrels can be lessened. It is why the ministry of

culture

should pay more attention to

this

. Another way, children need to start learning

culture

and sociology at school.

Thus

this

teaching about different cultures will play a main role in our society in the future.

Therefore

, the ministries of education should add

this

new subject to school

programms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

. Some countries

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

culture

and sociology subjects at school.

In addition

, the free language

cources

Correct your spelling

courses

sources

should be held by the administration.

Consequently

, the immigrants can live without

language

Add an article

the language

a language

show examples

barrier,

also

can have relationships with other nationalities.

First

of all,

this

could be exemplified by France, which provided

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

free

cources

Correct your spelling

courses

for

immigrants

Replace the word

immigrant

show examples

adults,

also

children.

Accordingly

,it will help them to communicate with other

people

. To conclude, the authorities should be aware of how they could take care

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

territory in a

peacefull

Correct your spelling

peaceful

and harmony.

Although

, some conflicts and problems should

be solve

Change the verb form

be solved

show examples

in a way that

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

issues will not stimulate other difficulties. All these ways will help

built

Wrong verb form

build

show examples

a friendly environment in the whole world.

Submitted by ronadeclaro on Sat Dec 04 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

248 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Nowadays many countries have every cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. How can the government ensure that all these people can live together harmoniously?

Fully explain your ideas

In a number of countries, some people think that it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new rail lines for the fast trains between cities. Other believe the money should be spend on Improving existing public transport. Discuss both views.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The development of technology has resulted in more employees working from home. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

An increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case, and what solutions are possible?

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?