There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In recent years, many
children
have struggled with passing core academic
subjects
,
such
as math and physics.
As a result
, some argue that non-academic
subjects
, like cooking and physical education, should be removed from the school
curriculum
to allow students to focus solely on their academic work. I firmly disagree with
this
view. In my opinion, non-academic
subjects
play a crucial role in a child’s
overall
development and should remain part of the
curriculum
.
This
essay will discuss my perspective. It is true that many students find academic
subjects
challenging, but removing non-academic classes is unlikely to reduce
this
pressure. In fact, doing so could have negative consequences for
children
’s mental and cognitive development.
For example
, a study conducted at Yale University showed that 77% of students experienced cognitive delays when their school removed non-academic
subjects
from the
curriculum
.
This
suggests that these
subjects
provide important balance and stimulation that help
children
process and retain information more effectively.
Moreover
, I believe that non-academic
subjects
, particularly those that involve physical or practical skills, are essential for fostering creativity, critical thinking, and decision-making. These skills are just as important as academic knowledge for a child’s future.
For instance
, a survey in Japan compared
children
who studied only theoretical
subjects
with those who were involved in both academic and practical
subjects
. It found that 66% of
children
who focused solely on academics reported higher levels of anxiety compared to those who participated in a more diverse
curriculum
.
This
highlights the importance of providing
children
with a well-rounded education that includes both academic and practical learning experiences. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the idea of removing non-academic
subjects
from schools.
Instead
, I believe we should encourage a balanced approach that includes a wide range of
subjects
, as
this
will benefit
children
’s mental and emotional well-being,
as well as
their academic performance.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are clearly and effectively presented, with a strong stance made clear from the outset.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, enhancing the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits clear cohesion with logical transitions between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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