There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In recent years, many

children

Use synonyms

have struggled with passing core academic

subjects

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such

Linking Words

as math and physics.

As a result

Linking Words

, some argue that non-academic

subjects

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, like cooking and physical education, should be removed from the school

curriculum

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to allow students to focus solely on their academic work. I firmly disagree with

this

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view. In my opinion, non-academic

subjects

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play a crucial role in a child’s

overall

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development and should remain part of the

curriculum

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This

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essay will discuss my perspective. It is true that many students find academic

subjects

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challenging, but removing non-academic classes is unlikely to reduce

this

Linking Words

pressure. In fact, doing so could have negative consequences for

children

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’s mental and cognitive development.

For example

Linking Words

, a study conducted at Yale University showed that 77% of students experienced cognitive delays when their school removed non-academic

subjects

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from the

curriculum

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This

Linking Words

suggests that these

subjects

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provide important balance and stimulation that help

children

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process and retain information more effectively.

Moreover

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, I believe that non-academic

subjects

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, particularly those that involve physical or practical skills, are essential for fostering creativity, critical thinking, and decision-making. These skills are just as important as academic knowledge for a child’s future.

For instance

Linking Words

, a survey in Japan compared

children

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who studied only theoretical

subjects

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with those who were involved in both academic and practical

subjects

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. It found that 66% of

children

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who focused solely on academics reported higher levels of anxiety compared to those who participated in a more diverse

curriculum

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This

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highlights the importance of providing

children

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with a well-rounded education that includes both academic and practical learning experiences. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the idea of removing non-academic

subjects

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from schools.

Instead

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, I believe we should encourage a balanced approach that includes a wide range of

subjects

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, as

this

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will benefit

children

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’s mental and emotional well-being,

as well as

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their academic performance.

reem.rz112Sun Oct 27 2024

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coherence cohesion

An introduction and conclusion are clearly and effectively presented, with a strong stance made clear from the outset.

task achievement

Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, enhancing the overall argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay exhibits clear cohesion with logical transitions between paragraphs.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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