IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Question: " Discuss the role of lifestyle choices in maintaining overall health. Consider factors such as diet, exercise, and stress management. How can individuals make informed choices to promote their well-being?” You should give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge to support your response.

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In recent years, how to reach a healthier
lifestyle
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 has become a heated debate.
While
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 some
people
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 disagree with the statement that a better
lifestyle
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 can bring
to
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apply
show examples
overall
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 healthier well-being, I believe that if we can control our diet, develop
an
Correct article usage
apply
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exercise
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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, and control our stress, we must have a better life experience. It is true that some
people
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 have a terrible
lifestyle
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, but their
body
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bodies
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 are stronger than others.
This
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 may result from genetic
difference
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differences
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, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 decided when
people
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 were born.
However
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, in general,
people
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 preferring a healthier life must focus on their
lifestyle
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 because it is impossible for individuals to maintain
overall
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 health but treat
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 body
bad
Change the word
badly
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.
Therefore
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, the food that
people
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 eat
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 has been regarded as an important factor
influence
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influencing
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 our health. To be more specific,
people
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 who like to eat fried food have
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 risk
to
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of
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get
Verb problem
becoming
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obesity
Replace the word
obese
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, causing cardiovascular
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 more often than
people
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prefer
Correct pronoun usage
who prefer
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balance
Correct your spelling
balanced
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 food.
Moreover
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, regular exercise
also
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 plays a vital role in maintaining
overall
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 health.
According to
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 much research, adequate exercise can decrease the probability of heart attack, which is common for the elderly.
Furthermore
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, the mindset of facing stress can
also
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 affect our well-being.
For example
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, if
people
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 have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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suffered from stress for a long time, they may have some mental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
This
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 may
also
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 lead to a negative effect
to
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on
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 our well-being. In conclusion,
although
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 cultivating a healthier
lifestyle
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 may take you lots of
times
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time
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 and energy, a healthier
lifestyle
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 can bring you
in
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apply
show examples
a better life for sure.

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Task Achievement
Expand your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples. Your arguments will be strengthened by providing clearer, more specific details and illustrations from real-life situations or authoritative sources.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Overall health
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Balanced diet
  • Nutrition
  • Exercise
  • Mental health
  • Physical health
  • Stress management
  • Aerobic
  • Strength training
  • Flexibility exercises
  • Well-being
  • Preventative care
  • Chronic diseases
  • Healthcare professionals
  • Mindfulness
  • Resilience
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Time management
  • Informed choices
  • Health promotion
  • Disease prevention
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Health consciousness
  • Healthy habits
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