Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

As the world has changed rapidly, various standards of success emerge nowadays. Several
people
argue that the rich are the most successful.
However
, I firmly believe that
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
who contribute to
society
are more successful than rich
people
. On the one hand, those who serve in
society
based on altruism have self-fulfilment. It is hard to deny that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
consider satisfaction as a key factor in a successful life. To be specific, some psychologists have demonstrated that a majority of contributors in
society
Add an article
a society
the society
show examples
like scientists and professors feel satisfaction more than just riches.
Moreover
, there is even a research study
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
implies that the marginal satisfaction from higher of a unit of income remains constant when the money exceeds a certain level.
However
, the more they contribute to
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
and benefit everyone, the happier they feel without limit.
Furthermore
, those who have made contributions to
society
are commonly able to help someone and even save the world.
However
, it is true that becoming rich is tremendous power in a capitalist
society
. In fact, everyone lives a life full of a series of choices. And property is a catalyst
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
helps
people
make more advantageous and convenient selections when they choose by allowing public financial freedom.
Moreover
, wealth can afford the possessions and lifestyle they desire, and
also
give them free time and peace of mind to completely enjoy their leisure.
In other words
, wealth allows an individual to enjoy their life to the fullest. In conclusion, great
people
contributing to
society
are psychologically pleased and help everyone, but money
also
makes an individual joyful in
this
capitalist
society
. Every individual and
society
must locate a balance between these two ideals.
Submitted by shoep11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: