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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are the most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are more successful. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
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As the world has changed rapidly, various standards of success emerge nowadays. Several
people
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 argue that the rich are the most successful.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that
nation
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nations
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 who contribute to
society
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 are more successful than rich
people
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. On the one hand, those who serve in
society
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 based on altruism have self-fulfilment. It is hard to deny that most
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
people
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the people
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 consider satisfaction as a key factor in a successful life. To be specific, some psychologists have demonstrated that a majority of contributors in
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society
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a society
the society
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 like scientists and professors feel satisfaction more than just riches.
Moreover
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, there is even a research study
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 implies that the marginal satisfaction from higher of a unit of income remains constant when the money exceeds a certain level.
However
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, the more they contribute to
community
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the community
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 and benefit everyone, the happier they feel without limit.
Furthermore
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, those who have made contributions to
society
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 are commonly able to help someone and even save the world.
However
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, it is true that becoming rich is tremendous power in a capitalist
society
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. In fact, everyone lives a life full of a series of choices. And property is a catalyst
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 helps
people
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 make more advantageous and convenient selections when they choose by allowing public financial freedom.
Moreover
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, wealth can afford the possessions and lifestyle they desire, and
also
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 give them free time and peace of mind to completely enjoy their leisure.
In other words
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, wealth allows an individual to enjoy their life to the fullest. In conclusion, great
people
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 contributing to
society
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 are psychologically pleased and help everyone, but money
also
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 makes an individual joyful in
this
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 capitalist
society
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. Every individual and
society
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 must locate a balance between these two ideals.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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