Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

It is seemingly common for young generations to look up to their favourable

celebrities

as role models in several aspects. Some

people

believe that the appearance of nowadays influencers often come along with showing off their assets or money, which could create an unhealthy perception of followers. I partly agree with

this

statement as while adolescents adopt damaging effects from the stars, there are still famous

people

who do the right things. Granted, it is admitted that there are a group of

celebrities

who are famous for showcasing how rich they are

instead

of their truthful talents, which creates an alarming trend for their audiences.

Consequently

, their audiences will blindly do the same as their influencers in buying the same products or wearing the same brand in order to be admired by other fellows, even if their financial situations can not afford

such

items.

For instance

, audiences watch the Kardashians’ show to see how wealthy they are, from hosting parties to purchasing clothes from recognizable brands. The younger generation

therefore

effortlessly tries to mirror their influencers by trying to have the same appearance, even when they barely make ends meet.

However

, one can not argue that all of the

celebrities

are the same. There are famous individuals who are renowned for their real talents and achievements

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and have set good examples for their followers.

For instance

, Cristiano Ronaldo is not only famous worldwide for his remarkable football skills, but

also

for his generosity. Every year he spends millions on charitable events and even

personally

Replace the word

personal

show examples

visits children who are severely ill, in order to motivate and support them financially and psychologically.

This

goodwill of Ronaldo has resulted in fostering determination and boosting the spirits of other admirers, to inherit his legacies. In conclusion, despite the fact that there are

celebrities

who have negatively influenced

people

by only focusing on their glamorous appearances, other famous

people

who have a reputation for doing good things still exist.

Submitted by uyen.buix97 on Mon Dec 06 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

324 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The length of vacation that employees enjoy each year varies from job to job. Do you think people should have the same number of holidays regardless of their occupation? Explain your answer.

Some people feel that the government should pay the costs of running universities so that a university education will be free for anyone who wants it. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think about the best way to improve road safety is to make vehicles driver take a test every year.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages.