Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theatre and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, there is a debate about how young people should allocate their time between cultural

activities

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such

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as music and theatre, and

sports

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While

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some argue in favour of prioritizing cultural pursuits, others advocate for spending more time on

sports

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. In my opinion, both cultural and

sports

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activities

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offer valuable benefits for young people, and they should be encouraged to engage in both.

Firstly

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, participating in cultural

activities

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like learning traditional music and attending local theatre performances can provide numerous advantages for young individuals. These

activities

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help them connect with their cultural heritage, learn about their history, and develop a sense of identity.

For example

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, in Indonesia, Balinese teenagers dedicate their weekends to learning traditional music and dancing, which not only enriches their understanding of their culture but

also

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fosters a sense of pride and belonging.

On the other hand

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, spending time on

sports

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activities

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has its own merits, particularly for teenagers who possess abundant energy and vitality. Engaging in

sports

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not only promotes physical fitness but

also

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instills

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instils

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valuable life skills

such

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as teamwork, discipline, and perseverance.

Moreover

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sports

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serve as a constructive outlet for

channeling

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channelling

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excess energy and reducing the likelihood of engaging in negative

behaviors

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behaviours

show examples

like street crimes and substance abuse.

For instance

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, many young males participate in

activities

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like futsal and football, which not only keep them physically active but

also

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offer the possibility of pursuing a career in athletics. In conclusion, rather than advocating for an exclusive focus on either cultural or

sports

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activities

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, it is important to recognize the benefits of both. Encouraging young people to engage in a diverse range of pursuits can contribute to their holistic development, fostering cultural awareness, physical well-being, and positive social

behavior

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behaviour

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. By striking a balance between cultural enrichment and physical activity, we can empower young individuals to lead fulfilling and productive lives.

ru.kabiru.biruSun Mar 24 2024

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Task Achievement

To excel in task achievement, try to provide a balanced argument that addresses the prompt directly. While your essay does give insights into both perspectives, clarifying your position throughout the essay could enhance the response. Ensure that each paragraph contributes clearly to your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that this idea is directly related to your overall argument. This will improve the coherence of your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion') are used effectively, but varying your sentence structures more could make your writing even smoother. Try incorporating more complex and compound sentences.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fostering creativity
Emotional intelligence
Enhance social skills
Promote cultural understanding
Overemphasis on sports
Risk of physical injury
One-dimensional view
Personal achievement
Balance
Cultural enrichment
Broad skills
Perspectives gained

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Young people should spend more time on cultural activities such as music and theatre and less time on sport. How far do you agree with this statement?

Public celebrations(such as national days, festivals etc) are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT?