In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is positive trend?

In the past, shopping was a part of home chores.
However
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
times
Add a comma
,times
show examples
people consider it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a leisure
time
activity. For me,
this
change in attitude towards going for purchase has the descending trend mainly for the expenses it would cost and the amount of
time
the buying process can incur. For many people in the modern twenty-
first
century, to step out for shopping is a way to relax
themselves
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
from everyday hassles. For them, laundering around the shopping mall in the act of hunting for their necessities is really a stress buster from overpowering work culture.
Also
, dressing up, buying essentials for a party or any occasion plays a great deal for the party indulgers. add great materialistic pleasure that they deprive for.
However
, for me, spending huge
time
in the shopping complex is
utter
Add an article
an utter
show examples
waste of
time
. I would rather spend
this
quality
time
with family or use it as a self-relaxation
time
. Agreeably,
this
can help improve
familial
Add an article
the familial
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and boost-up mental health for oneself.
In addition
, embarking on buying spree activities would cost
huge
Change the article
a huge
show examples
lot of money, and
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
leave us with minimal money which might be needed for future investments.
This
justifies the reason why I deviate from the view of shopping as
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
trend. In conclusion, though for most people, walking out for purchase can remain a hobby, I consider
this
as a negative influence and can potentially leave us with no money by taking away our precious
time
for family.
Submitted by geetha.avsp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: