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Band 6

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
In many regions, more
people
 have a greater risk of health
problems
 due to the consumption of too much convenience
food
hence
 it is believed to impose a higher
tax
 on junk
food
.
Although
 I acknowledge the risks of
this
food
, I think
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
tax
 will do nothing to the quantity of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 usage. On the one hand, various
people
 are prone to health
problems
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 arise from fast
food
 consumption. As a fact,
this
 kind of
food
 including pizzas, hamburgers
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 produced at reasonable
prices
 for all kinds of
people
.
Therefore
,
people
 hardly ensure the
quanlities
Correct your spelling
quantities
qualities
 and sources of the ingredients which give rise to short-term
problems
such
 as
food
 poisoning and long-term effects
such
 as stomach cancer, obesity. An illustration of
this
 is that in many Vietnamese fast
food
 stores, many sellers use oil over once in order to gain more profit for their stores.
On the other hand
, increasing the
tax
 on junk
food
 does not mean the reduction of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
’s users. The main reason is that some
people
 consume
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 fast
food
, not because of the
prices
.
In other words
, they only focus on the convenience of fast
food
such
 as saving time and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
availability.
Therefore
, they will continue to buy fast
food
 regardless of the higher
prices
 as they have no choice among the hectic schedule.
Furthermore
, imposing higher taxes affects negatively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some fast
food
’s sellers who place a high value on the quality of the
food
. Clearly, they find it really challenging to balance not only the trust of customers but
also
 the reasonable
prices
 while the government puts them under higher
tax
 pressure.
As a result
, they have to change to the unknown ingredients and lose their honesty or if not, they will gain less profit. In conclusion, while convenience
food
 brings
people
 many health
problems
, it is
inessential
Replace the word
essential
show examples
 to increase the
tax
 on fast
food
.
Submitted by dongocthuy6999 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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