being a celebrity such as a famous film star or sports personality brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

It is opined that being a well-known person has both its good and bad sides. Most people crave
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
status in our society,
however
, I suggest that it has more
problems
than benefits because your
life
is open for public review and you don't have a private
life
again.
This
essay will be analysing these
problems
of being a star.
Firstly
, the
life
of a public personality is always open for public review. Many people are eager to over-
emphaisize
Correct your spelling
emphasize
emphasis
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the mistakes made by celebrities, while the same mistakes made by others are not even noticed. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, many
menhave
Correct your spelling
men have
been caught
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were guilty of infidelity, but when Bill Clinton was caught it became
a world news
Remove the article
world news
a piece of world news
show examples
.
This
shows that well-known persons do suffer from
public
Add an article
a public
show examples
review than any other person.
Furthermore
, a celebrity doesn't have a private
life
. Sometimes, these public figures wish they could walk across the street like every other person, but
this
is dangerous because they could be mobbed and sustain injuries.
For example
, Michael Jackson once confessed that he couldn't do what normal people do because of the kind of crowd he commands wherever he goes. As
such
with
such
high status in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, he has limited freedom.
Finally
, it is said that there are lots of
problems
as well as benefits that
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
with being popular.
This
essay has shown that these popular folks are subjected to public reviews and they do not have a
nomnal
Correct your spelling
normal
nominal
life
any more
Correct your spelling
anymore
show examples
. As
such
, I agree that the
problems
are
are
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
more than the benefits.
Submitted by rotimiolajitan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: