IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#world #companies #government #conduct #research
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary age, it is generally believed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private businesses are dealing with most of the experiments in science rather than the authority. From my observation, I consider that it brings more benefits than drawbacks. On the one hand, one of the most concerning problems is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientists are over-exploiting animals and forests served for their investigations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can cross the moral lines without any hesitations, which makes the species to be extinct.
Besides
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the government has strict regulations on examining, the private
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
 still
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 the profit-oriented merits first. To illustrate the point,
according to
Linking Words
 the New York Times, about 31% of rare rabbits are endangered because of testing vaccines on them regarding people's healthcare.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I assume that high-powered companies have to spend a greater number of money on the medical aspects than the politics.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can easily be seen that private campaigns have the most innovative facilities,
thus
Linking Words
 getting faster and more effective results.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the more the scientists work efficiently in the laboratories, the better scientific achievements they are getting. In specific, when they achieve many rewards for themselves, they can attract more
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
 dedicated to the country.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that private campaigns have more favours than harm to the field of science.
However
Linking Words
, there should be some restrictions on the private companies that they have to limit the resources of nature.
Submitted by Phuong Anh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay adequately addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of private companies conducting scientific research. However, the ideas could be more fully developed and supported with stronger examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion with adequate use of linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas. However, there is room for improvement in organizing the ideas more logically within paragraphs and ensuring a stronger concluding statement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: